Korea, Kevin and Kimchee: this short week feels long

“If you want to act like a child then go ahead!”
-Kevin Manley circa 2007, poorly admonishing a three year old.

Maybe it was the short lunch. I bartered mine away in exchange for getting out of work early, figuring I’d still have time to wolf down a packed meal. That didn’t happen. I had to settle for a handful of beef jerky and some fruit.

Maybe it was my sore throat, I think I’m coming down with a bit of laryngitis. My throat is hoarse but aside from that I feel fine. But that may have just been my vocal folds lying down in the face of futility.

Maybe its just that my kids still aren’t used to being back in school. That’s probably it. Truthfully most of my classes went remarkably well. One of my classes that is famous for being rowdy (ask anyone!) I managed to keep in line easily today. One of my classes was pretty much taken up by them each writing a sentence on the board about food. That was the class I ate my lunch in. They’re like zombies, once they get an idea in their head they go for it.

But in my last class of the day there were difficulties. This is my super young class, who has just been moved into one of the bigger classrooms because it is constantly growing. I think a combination of the new digs coupled with the vacation has rolled back some of their focus and dedication to the diligent study of English. Three year olds, when will they ever learn.

It was hot when I got into the class so I opened the window, which is childproofed for safety reasons. Instantly four of the students flocked to the window like they had magnets for eyeballs. Any stimuli usually has that effect but two of them wouldn’t sit down when asked. One of them was just moody (I think three year old Korean boys have ‘time of the months’) the other one was transfixed to the sunlight and city view like he had just gotten out of solitary confinement. Now I sympathize with kids being stuck inside all day, and their old class didn’t even have a window so this was a novelty. But after a good 60 seconds I really had to get this kid back in his seat.

I teach his older brother in another class and he has similar problems with authority figures. They both respect and like me (at least outside of class) but moreso than other children haven’t learned that their whims aren’t the focus of the lesson. I tried asking, telling and then a one way ticket back to Seatsville via the Kevin Manley express. I had to close the shutters again in the end to get him from going all Icarus on me.

The class spurred on by the sun worshipper and the moody chubby kid had trouble being quiet for longer than four seconds at a stretch. Yes I think its relevant that the other kid is chubby, mainly because he is the one I witnessed being placated by his mother and her endless bag of cupcakes lo those many months ago (shameful plug for the archives). He is also the one that will come back for seconds and thirds for snack time (available because I don’t eat the double serving given to me) and then will throw a fit when he finds out that helping number four of choco-pie doesn’t exist. So there’s a room full of kids that won’t keep quiet and are being rowdier than ever.

I can’t raise my voice at them because I’ve pretty much lost it (my voice that is- I wasn’t angry just exasperated). I can’t even fall back on my ace in the hole threat of sending the loud kids out of the room- there would be some professional drawbacks to being the only one left in the room. Then I remember something. Just like in an 80s martial arts flick where the hero remembers a lesson from his master halfway through his final fight I remember what Jarod (the teacher I replaced) told me on my first day. I let the kids color. Two minutes later it was like there was a gas leak these kids were so pacified. Jarod you are my Yoda.

Now the director of my school doesn’t like it when we let the kids color, since they aren’t really learning any English. Yet at the same time the kids all have coloring pencils at the school and their textbooks are about 40% coloring activites. With temptations like that who needs a serpent. I don’t break it out often, but when I do the effects are magical. I coached them through the coloring, telling them to color the banana yellow and the apple red and so on. And god bless them for deciding to follow their own creative instincts instead Good job Vince you managed to coat the entire page in a layer of green. So I eventually settled for just walking around the class and whispering (all I was capable of at that point) little bits of English to each kid individually.

It was just an odd day with the kids in an odd mood and myself a little hungry. I thought that I’d be floored after that point, but I hit the gym after school and had a surprisingly good workout. Just read a new fitness book Muscle Revolution by Chad Waterbury and have started following the programs in there. I sometimes get asked why I follow books for workouts even though I was a trainer for three years. Well silly, its because their workouts are good. Nah, honestly its because if I write my own program I will tweak it endlessly and never have any consistent style of training. If its someone elses program (and a good one) I’ll tweak it a little at first then just ride it out. I only even mention the book because I think anyone who wants some good workouts should check it out. We’ll use me as a guide, if I’m not impossibly fit in nine months then don’t buy the book.